FOCCUS

Facilitating Open Couple Communication, Understanding & Study

Yeah, I could tell you about it, but I think this article on Slate does a pretty good job. Apparently they're hellbent on finding out of Matt and I are abusive, alcoholic, gambling addicts, or homosexuals. Not kidding, it was pretty intense. Matt tried to cheat at one point, and he looked to see what my answer was to "My partner has a hobby or pastime that I disapprove of." or something like that. Basically, I knew that he knew that we knew what I was talking about. Yes, I said I agree, and that's because his World of Warcraft raid nights and occasional forays or pick-up-games or whatever ends up taking over his life and he forgets to do homework or the list of things he says he'll do (call the doctor back about your MRIs on your knees yet? no, not quite...)

Most frustratingly, he leans over to see what my answer is and says "WHAT? I knew you'd put that!"

Well, duh. I've been steamed about this particular issue for weeks now and I don't see it getting better.

So later that night, he pulls me away from the television and says "We Need To Talk." Now, I love my man but he is totally non-confrontational. Half the time I'll prolong my moodiness just to see if he bothers to ask "what's wrong?" which in this case, he did off the bat. After a particularly hellish day of a five hour raid or whatnot that has me absoutely strapped for anything else to watch on TV, no access to the internet due to wireless issues since he needs our singular Cat-5 cable (we only have one outlet, sadly), and no homework to do, I'm feeling particuarly moody. Snappy, cattish, etc. So he clears off the bed and says "Mely, come here. Sit. Pamela keeps telling me I need to be more assertive, so lets talk about this." So we did - we had our first legitmate argument over his hobbies and his lack of consideration for me when he just gets online and signs up for a three hour pick-up-game, or when he won't call it quits until an hour and a half after he originally said they would end. He said from now on he would check with me before he does PUGs (as they're apparently called) and would limit raids to Mondays and Tuesdays. Ok, fine. Plus, he adds, when we go to Angers (aww look at the optimism!) I won't be able to raid, ever, so maybe by the time we get back I won't want to play WoW anymore. That comment was probably mostly for the sake of the oncoming "rest of my life" argument.

Lets see how long that lasts...